During a casual conversation, Vivian said, "There is on the internet a plan amongst people north to the Shenzhen River to come to our city on the National Day and pee or poo around."
"Of course I heard of it. Who doesn't? This is the response to the recent conflict between the couple who allowed their child to relax his back passage in the public and some local citizens who were slightly too eager to use their video cameras."
"I think they are overreacting." My wife said.
"Alas! From their point of view, this is part of the same country, and they could behave just like home." I smiled, "After all, there are a whole lot of places in our city that could be suitable for our friends to relieve their distended bladder or rectum."
"Oh, do you mean the home of that Mr So, or even Mr Leung!?" My wife asked.
"My dear, don't be too harsh to them. They do not know what they are doing - or, do they? Since our friends from the other side of the river are so confident in doing what they think justified, I would suggest they should exercise their pelvic automatic nerves outside the Foreign Correspondents' Club at the Central (中環外國記者會). I'm sure our Chinese culture and tradition should be advertised around the world!"
Wednesday, April 30, 2014
Tuesday, April 29, 2014
Ecology
(The meeting in the Department of Environment Protection continues.)
"This is no good. Our country needs a forest and a wealth of wildlife." The minister shakes his head.
"Sir, you are right - but only partly," the private secretary murmurs, "Our country also needs agriculture and industry and a whole lot of other things - we have so many citizens, new and old, who needs to make a living. There is an opportunistic cost when we decide how to use the water from the river."
"Minister, if our aim is to preserve a diversity of wildlife in our country, there is nothing to worry." The permanent secretary says calmly.
"What do you mean?"
"You see? Yes, the forest is disappearing, and we can no longer find deers or squirrels or woodpeckers. Nonetheless, there are other animals that struggle for their living in a desert. We have camel, fennec fox, lizard, and a handful of others."
"But... the spectrum is different! And the land is no as fertile as it used to be!" The minister raise his voice.
"Sir, you'd better see it as a change in ecology." The permanent secretary says carefully.
"Is it? Humphrey, when do you become a Buddhist?" The minister says, finding himself more cynical than ever.
"This is no good. Our country needs a forest and a wealth of wildlife." The minister shakes his head.
"Sir, you are right - but only partly," the private secretary murmurs, "Our country also needs agriculture and industry and a whole lot of other things - we have so many citizens, new and old, who needs to make a living. There is an opportunistic cost when we decide how to use the water from the river."
"Minister, if our aim is to preserve a diversity of wildlife in our country, there is nothing to worry." The permanent secretary says calmly.
"What do you mean?"
"You see? Yes, the forest is disappearing, and we can no longer find deers or squirrels or woodpeckers. Nonetheless, there are other animals that struggle for their living in a desert. We have camel, fennec fox, lizard, and a handful of others."
"But... the spectrum is different! And the land is no as fertile as it used to be!" The minister raise his voice.
"Sir, you'd better see it as a change in ecology." The permanent secretary says carefully.
"Is it? Humphrey, when do you become a Buddhist?" The minister says, finding himself more cynical than ever.
Monday, April 28, 2014
Desert
(In a meeting of the Department of Environment Protection.)
James, the Minister of Environment Protection, begins, “Look. Our forest is turning into a desert. Why’s that the case?”
“Sir, that’s because the place is not suitable for the living of trees or animals.” Humphrey, the Permanent Secretary of the department, replies.
The Minister, who happens to have read Edward de Bono, wishes to say that’s a level one explanation. However, he swallows those words back to his throat and regurgitates them in a different way, “In that case, why should the place be not suitable for those lovely creatures?”
“Maybe there’s not enough water…” Bernard, the private secretary of James, tries to help.
“I see that the river that used to pass through the forest has been diverted to somewhere else,” the minister points to the map, “What’s happening there?”
“That’s true, minister,” the permanent secretary replies, “The water is saved for the Department of Agriculture. You know, farming is an important aspect of our country.”
James, the Minister of Environment Protection, begins, “Look. Our forest is turning into a desert. Why’s that the case?”
“Sir, that’s because the place is not suitable for the living of trees or animals.” Humphrey, the Permanent Secretary of the department, replies.
The Minister, who happens to have read Edward de Bono, wishes to say that’s a level one explanation. However, he swallows those words back to his throat and regurgitates them in a different way, “In that case, why should the place be not suitable for those lovely creatures?”
“Maybe there’s not enough water…” Bernard, the private secretary of James, tries to help.
“I see that the river that used to pass through the forest has been diverted to somewhere else,” the minister points to the map, “What’s happening there?”
“That’s true, minister,” the permanent secretary replies, “The water is saved for the Department of Agriculture. You know, farming is an important aspect of our country.”
Sunday, April 27, 2014
Simple
You may find it surprising to call making pizza a whole-day game.
Well, it is not – unless you are making this traditional Italian dish with children.
It goes like this: After breakfast and some morning routines (for example, practising piano), I brought my princesses to a supermarket to buy the ingredient. In addition to having great fun, it is an excellent opportunity to show them different kinds of cheese, sausages, vegetables, and herbs. I also taught Euterpe how to compare price and so forth. Once you also consider the time for discussing what type of candy to buy and lining up to pay, a whole morning is just sufficient.
And, after a quick lunch, the girls went for a nap. I took the chance to unpack the flour and moisten the yeast. (Believe it or not, I also took the time and reviewed a grant application for the Bureau.) When they woke up, we made the dough together. (For obvious reasons, the girls added the yeast and water to the flour, and I did the messy job of mixing.) While we were waiting for the dough to raise, we had a quick afternoon tea. Then, alas, it came the climax: I rolled out the pizza dough and my princessess added the topping as they liked. (It turns out that parmesan cheese is their favorite – they were trying to eat it that and there!) After all these, when we took the final product out of the oven, it was almost dinner time.
Happiness could be very simple.
No, happiness is usually very simple.
Well, it is not – unless you are making this traditional Italian dish with children.
It goes like this: After breakfast and some morning routines (for example, practising piano), I brought my princesses to a supermarket to buy the ingredient. In addition to having great fun, it is an excellent opportunity to show them different kinds of cheese, sausages, vegetables, and herbs. I also taught Euterpe how to compare price and so forth. Once you also consider the time for discussing what type of candy to buy and lining up to pay, a whole morning is just sufficient.
And, after a quick lunch, the girls went for a nap. I took the chance to unpack the flour and moisten the yeast. (Believe it or not, I also took the time and reviewed a grant application for the Bureau.) When they woke up, we made the dough together. (For obvious reasons, the girls added the yeast and water to the flour, and I did the messy job of mixing.) While we were waiting for the dough to raise, we had a quick afternoon tea. Then, alas, it came the climax: I rolled out the pizza dough and my princessess added the topping as they liked. (It turns out that parmesan cheese is their favorite – they were trying to eat it that and there!) After all these, when we took the final product out of the oven, it was almost dinner time.
Happiness could be very simple.
No, happiness is usually very simple.
Saturday, April 26, 2014
Pizza
The main celebration that I had with my princesses during the Easter holiday was making pizza at home.
The story goes like this: Euterpe is always fond of eating pizza. During the Christmas time, while she was bored of studying for her mid-term examination, I made the promise that if she does reasonably well in her examination, we shall make pizza together at home during the Easter holiday.
And, that’s that. For obvious reasons, Adler needs to have a hand on this interesting game.
Here is our result:
The story goes like this: Euterpe is always fond of eating pizza. During the Christmas time, while she was bored of studying for her mid-term examination, I made the promise that if she does reasonably well in her examination, we shall make pizza together at home during the Easter holiday.
And, that’s that. For obvious reasons, Adler needs to have a hand on this interesting game.
Here is our result:
Friday, April 25, 2014
Concert
(Open letter from a famous pop star.)
Dear fans,
I am here to announce I shall not take part in any concert performance in the future. There will still be performances on the stage, but they would only be recorded in and sold as DVD.
I understand this is a tough decision and may not be universally welcome. Nonetheless I consider it as a necessary move, and there are numerous reasons to support so. First, watching a recorded performance rather than a flesh-and-blood one does not only do away with the variation in quality, it allows fine editing and guarantee the audience to watch my singing and dancing at the best of quality.
More importantly, the box record of my concert has been declining, and, even amongst the ones who do buy a ticket, half of them fall asleep before the toilet break, and the other half just sit there. They don’t even clap – not to say cheer or yell. The atmosphere of my concert is not cool. It is not even cold, but literally freezing. I fancy my crew of camera men give a better response than my concert audience.
Therefore, don’t blame me for cancelling the concert. My heart remains enthusiastic. But, dear fans, please think once again what you have contributed to the success of my performance.
Sincerely, et cetera, XX
Dear fans,
I am here to announce I shall not take part in any concert performance in the future. There will still be performances on the stage, but they would only be recorded in and sold as DVD.
I understand this is a tough decision and may not be universally welcome. Nonetheless I consider it as a necessary move, and there are numerous reasons to support so. First, watching a recorded performance rather than a flesh-and-blood one does not only do away with the variation in quality, it allows fine editing and guarantee the audience to watch my singing and dancing at the best of quality.
More importantly, the box record of my concert has been declining, and, even amongst the ones who do buy a ticket, half of them fall asleep before the toilet break, and the other half just sit there. They don’t even clap – not to say cheer or yell. The atmosphere of my concert is not cool. It is not even cold, but literally freezing. I fancy my crew of camera men give a better response than my concert audience.
Therefore, don’t blame me for cancelling the concert. My heart remains enthusiastic. But, dear fans, please think once again what you have contributed to the success of my performance.
Sincerely, et cetera, XX
Thursday, April 24, 2014
油渣麵
On an recent occasion, I was asked to sit in a meeting and listen to the students’ feedback to our medical curriculum.
I shall not tell you the exact details. By and large the points are much expected. Nonetheless, while I was sitting there and playing with my Nexus, a joke that I heard many years ago flashed through my mind:
********************
A man goes into a bean curd bistro (荳品舖), sits down by the table, and makes his order, “A bowl of cracklings noodle (油渣麵), please.”
“Sir, do you have any specific order for your noodle?” The waiter asks.
“More cracklings for me, please” the man replies, and, then, he thinks for a while and adds, “Oh, I also want more dongcai (冬菜) and more noodles.”
“Kitchen!” The waiter yelled, “Two bowls of cracklings noodle!”
PS. For those who are not familiar with the Hong Kong culture, it is a tradition of many bean curd bistros to serve cracklings noodle. The reason for this association is not entirely clear.
I shall not tell you the exact details. By and large the points are much expected. Nonetheless, while I was sitting there and playing with my Nexus, a joke that I heard many years ago flashed through my mind:
********************
A man goes into a bean curd bistro (荳品舖), sits down by the table, and makes his order, “A bowl of cracklings noodle (油渣麵), please.”
“Sir, do you have any specific order for your noodle?” The waiter asks.
“More cracklings for me, please” the man replies, and, then, he thinks for a while and adds, “Oh, I also want more dongcai (冬菜) and more noodles.”
“Kitchen!” The waiter yelled, “Two bowls of cracklings noodle!”
PS. For those who are not familiar with the Hong Kong culture, it is a tradition of many bean curd bistros to serve cracklings noodle. The reason for this association is not entirely clear.
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