Sunday, November 18, 2012

Speech

(Excerpt of the Queen’s speech to the Royal Army.)

Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears.

Our country is in great difficulty. Our purse is tight, but we need to keep the expense for many important projects – the construction of Versailles, the Diamond Necklace project, and, em… my dresses. For these reasons, we have to cut down the budget allocated to the defence of our country – that is, to you all. From now on, it will be more difficult for you to get promoted, and your salary is going to be the only thing unchanged from now to 2046.

Don’t yell. I know your problem. Our country is going to have more battles than ever. But, that’s not a reason to increase your resource – no matter money or manpower. Some years ago, when we had a period of peace and no battle, we did not cut down the number of your men, and your salary was only slightly trimmed down, right? Now, it is time for you to pay back.

If you think we are too harsh to you, you are very welcome to leave the army and find another job. We will only keep people who like to stay in a tough time.

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“Does his Highness wish to keep the Army at all?” I asked my friend Warren after listening to all these, “If he doesn’t, it is entirely fine to close down the military school and dismiss everyone. I’m sure all soldiers could earn their own living one way or another. But, if he still wants to have an army for the country, please ask him to shut up.  All he is doing now is grinding down the morale of all soldiers – the most malicious way of destroying an army in my opinion!”

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